Brugesopean vacation......Holiday roooooooad.

Barely had the christmas wrappings been scraped into a box, and we were off. Leaving home at 9am for a whirlwind stopover at the designer outlet we discovered in York last year, where Glenn can get his Van Heusen shirts at rock bottom prices. Snow was still covering the land and the temperature...well this first pic says it all.

Not only doesn't Australia seem to make cars with a temp, but even if you all had one, you would never have seen the crucial part in this picture....the minus sign!


We stopped rather suddenly, as is our want, at this bridge because it was just so beautiful and the river was, not surprisingly, frozen.

 Not surprising also then, that we were once again peering through a filthy windscreen due to the frozen water/chemicals that wouldn't spray due to freezation. The title of this blog is a reference to the Vacation series of movies with Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo which if you haven't seen, are hilarious. Well, the first one 'National Lampoons Vacation' and the second 'European Vacation' are, after that they got a bit daggy so I wouldn't recommend them. Anyway, they are the tale of the Griswald family and their adventures on holiday and, all the things that happen due to one's stupidity at expecting everything to go to plan and this is the point at which you'll realise why we have drawn the simile. Our motto here in the UK since about day 3, continues to be 'Everything is harder than it should be'. I just wish we could remember this fact when it mattered! Anyway, here's Glenn (Clark) Griswald about to jump into the frozen river because it seemed like a good idea.

No, he would never actually do that, despite the appearance that he regularly takes his life in his hands, it is always carefully and intelligently calculated. So we got to the outlet as planned, got 5 shirts for 50 pounds...bargain...a new pair of work shoes to replace the worlds cheapest ones that broke whilst Glenn was walking the snowy streets of Birmingham two weeks ago and which were cleverly lined with bubble wrap envelopes to keep out the damp (cleverly hmmmm and he thinks I'm weird) But sadly, no new suits as no-one had told these vendors that the worlds scabbiest man was on his way. In fairnness, they were pretty pricey! Got a cup of tea and had packed lunch in the car park. At least the dog hadn't peed on the sandwiches...see 'Vacation'. Onward to Hull but a brief detour through Beverley where we saw some beautiful old buildings and drove through the archway just because we could.

                                                                                                            

And so this is where the England part of the journey all goes to hell in a hand basket. The plan had been to locate the dock first, then go back into town and get an early dinner to avoid paying 18pounds each on the ship for food we neither wanted nor could eat. 'Clark' had wisely programmed the address of the ferry dock into the sat nav 'Fanny', including the postcode, which over here is considered more important. Now Fanny has become quite reliable, well, if you consider being within 100 miles of your intended destination reliable, and despite our better judgement, we ignored all the signs directing us to the dock and kept following Fanny's instructions to King George Dock. Round and round the snowy streets we went, all the while 'hmming' to each other in that way that says this isn't right but neither of us is prepared to make a decision otherwise. And suddenly we were there, King George Dock? I hear you ask, no, an industrial estate, with neither water nor ship in sight. Let's re-programme her said I, using just the postcode. So we did, and round we went again and where did we arrive this time? The exact same place! Another page out of the Clark and Ellen Griswald book of how to organise a holiday....or, perhaps stories of us made their way to America and the films are actually based on us. So, what do two self respecting adults lost in Hull do when the sat nav doesn't work? They drive around blindly hoping for a sign and soon get one, directly to King George Dock! Yippee I hear you say...not so fast, now it's time for food. Back we go, thinking that with all the shops open on this chilly Boxing day, it should be easy to find somewhere to get a sandwich or some chips, not so. First it's a 20min drive around to find a much needed toilet, which eventually saw me ducking into an old pub that for the first time in my life had me wishing I carried toilet seat covers in my handbag! Anyway, we parked the car, wandered around a shopping centree for 10min followed signs to the food court but it wasn't there, wandered out again, looked up and down the street, couldn't see a take away shop anywhere, went back to the car, drove past pub after pub with no lights on, and finally saw a Sainsbury express on one corner and a chippie on the other. Slam on the brakes, Clark goes in to get chips and a veggie burger, I go and get a bag of rolls and some bananas. A short ride back to the dock and dinner was had. On the good side, they were about the nicest chips I've ever had!

We were rather early, on account of the fact that we expected to get lost and or stuck in snow, so we sat in the car for an hour and a half before finally and rather excitedly making our way toward the check-in building. We left our car in the park provided, 20pds for 4 days, which is a bargain considering it usually costs you about 3pds for 2 hours at the shops, hoped that our 75pds worth of shirts and shoes would still be in the boot upon our return, and set off with gusto. Behind me here is our ship 'The Pride of Hull' ......still not that inspired by the word 'Hull' I've gotta say, sounds a bit like something stuck in one's teeth. The ship was better than I expected, even though the rooms were the size of matchboxes.

'Clark', thinking he was being clever, took a sea sickness tablet due to his experience on a very small boat in very rough seas off the coast of WA last year, and found himself drowsy to the point of falling asleep at about 9.30, unheard of for him, so we had an early night. Turned out he didn't feel the slightest bit sick and the sea was so calm we could barely feel motion at all. The morning saw an early shower, walk on deck as the sun peeked through and a breakfast of tea and bananas and a leaisurely wait in the cafe to be told we could disembark. There we sat, for about 20mins before realising disembrakation was nearly finished and we were going to be on one of the last buses to Bruges and not the first as we had planned...oh dear.

Oh yes, and don't forget to note the overcoat, scarf, gloves and, wait for it, thermal top that Glenn is wearing...Ha, in your face, I'm not the only one who gets cold! 

Stay tuned for part two of Clark and Elenn Griswald's Bruges-opean Vacation.