off to Snowmanchester

It's 6.10am on the 29th Nov and off we set in a very warm and comfortable taxi ride to the train station in Burton-Upon-Trent. Price is pre-negotiated so no unpleasant surprises there, but the station itself was pretty basic and at -6c I was a little cold to say the least.

Here you see an English businessman in his natural surroundings....an overcoat, a newspaper, incessent tapping on a mobile phone and constant complaints about the quality of British public transport. Thankfully this will not be this English businessman's normal modus operandi as our trip home will be made in the company car.

We make two changes at equally freezing train platforms with barely a few minutes to get from one train to the next and no signs to tell us which platform we need and, trains wait for no man here! Thanks to Glenn's anal time fetish, all watches and mobile phones have been carefully synchronized before leaving home and there ends up being no cause for concern.

We arrive in sunny, white Manchester at 9.00am and proceed to follow our printed Google map to the office where Glenn will spend the next week training for his exciting new job. Up that street, no down that one, across that car park, back that way, the map says it should be there, go up a bit further, phew there it is. Kiss goodbye and I'm on my own.

I set off for what should be a ten minute walk to a library that is marked on the map, where I will spend the morning until I can check in at the hotel. Street names are correct and everything seems to be in order, but where is the library? I ask a street sweeper and he doesn't know where the one I am looking for is but tells me there is one up there near the town hall. Great I think, town halls are usually pretty easy to spot so off I go as directed  by this helpful Mancunian. Then, on my way, I see the Art Gallery; what joy. I'll get to the toilet sooner and I was planning to visit here anyway; wait, it's not open on Monday's damn. Off we go again. There's the town Hall;

(Old library above)

very nice, and there's a sign with 'library' written on it. Getting closer to the sign I can see it's a 'we have relocated' instruction and even closer, I see that it doesn't have a 'you are here' arrow so I could be anywhere really. For a moment I take in the beauty of the old library and det off in what I hope is the right direction. Then I see signs that appear to be pointing me to the new library Yay! and then, I see a public toilet Oh callee callay! except, let us never speak of that toilet again!!!

By this time, having pulled my travle bag for about 45 minutes over cobbled and snow lined streets, whilst busting for the toilet, I am quite in need of a rest and in my stupour I manage to miss one of the signs. I end up in the Christmas Markets which are spectacular and sadly, nothing like we've ever seen in Australia. I wander aimlessly for a bit, cross a road, dawdle with the lethargy of it all and finally ask at a post office. Having been given good directions I find the library, get warm and comfortable and spend the morning reading a Noel Coward play. I like Coward a lot, but if my plays ever get famous enough for someone to talk about who my influences were and they say Coward, don't believe them, I'd never read one until I'd already set my own style!

Lunch is a preprepared salad roll and then it's off to the hotel, which my map informs me is near the road where Glenn is working. I walk up the street, no premier Inn, I walk back down the street, no Premier Inn, I walk back up again, Nope. Finally I see an information centre huzzah! The lady was delightful, if a little too informative about all the things to do in Manchester, including which shop to go to for real glass balls.....with the temperature this low, just ask any man in the street; oh sorry, that's brass isn't it. Anyway, turns out Google had it completely wrong and armed with my new map, I was at the hotel in 5 minutes, checked in and relaxing at last on our comfortable, clean bed in our comfortable, clean room.